Commitment

Com-mit-ment: noun

1. The act of committing.

2. The state of being committed.

3. The act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

4. A pledge or promise; obligation.

5. Engagement; involvement.

Many of us commit ourselves to updating our facebook pages everyday, washing the car 3 times a week, and indulging in certain behavior. The list goes on and on. To be fully committed to something takes a lot of time and energy BUT if you are committed to something you love; you’ll always have plenty of time and energy.

Children’s first encounter with commitment comes from their relationship with their parents. Don’t believe me?

Just look around…

See the parent and child sitting in the library/bookstore. That child knows his parent is committed to helping him learn to read.

See the parent texting his friends while “helping” his child with his homework. That child is receiving mixed signals. So… It’s ok to text while doing homework?



"YOU SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS!"



Children don’t need half-ass (excuse my French) commitments. They receive enough of those from society. Dad is not committed to his family and doesn’t come home at night. Well Dad’s children (especially boys) are going to have a difficult time learning to commit to their family and the cycle continues.

Mom is committed to going out every weekend. Well guess what mommy’s little girl is itching to do when she turns 17? I’ll give you three guesses….

Parenting is not hard; IF you are committed to doing the right thing.

I’m committed to making my child’s future brighter than my past…. PERIOD.

Working Together…

Every day adults go to their place of business and work with individuals they simply can not tolerate. Maybe it is the coworker who chews with his mouth open, the office gossip queen, or the boss who believes all employees are her personal assistants.  But for at least eight hours a day and five days a week individuals put aside their personal feelings for the common good.

Unfortunately, these same people do not know how to work with the person who he or she selected to have a child with. Working with someone you had an emotional investment in can be difficult – but just like the decision to cope with the unruly coworker, the decision to co-parent is for the betterment of the home team.

During and after a break-up, children need to be reminded just how special they are to both parents and they also need to be reminded that although living arrangements may change, the rules will stay the same. Parents have to be in agreement with rewards, discipline, and other important decisions. It should not be party time at either parent’s home all the time. There will always be differences in parenting style but there should be a common theme. 

Consistency is the number one goal.

Remember, children watch EVERYTHING their parents do. A child’s attitude and behavior toward the opposite sex is similar to those traits exhibited by his or her parents.

In a perfect world everyone would just get along. There would be no pain, and breakups would only apply to horrible boy bands. Children who see their parents working together even when the relationship has failed learn how to work with others they have disagreements with. Show disrespect toward the other parent, chances are the child will do the same when confronted with challenging situation.

Being a mature, responsible co-parent starts with remembering – your child’s needs come before your own. 

KEY POINTS

• Consistency – It is not just for cake batter. Communicate with the other parent and try to maintain the same atmosphere in both households.

• Be a leader – Children will follow a parent’s example; Make it a positive one. Show respect to the other parent.

• Keep differences between the adults – Do not use children as messengers. Children have a right to be carefree. They have their own issues to worry about (acne, dating, school).