Moving On…

Bags packed? Check.

Locks Changed? Check.

Relationship over. Done!

When ending a relationship with someone the mental checklist seems never ending. Unfortunately, many adults forget to account for what may be the most important item on the list. What about the children?

Break ups are very hard on children. Even if both parents are rational thinking people there will be an adjustment period for the children. Most children want their parents to stay together because children value security and comfort more than anything else. Both parents under the same roof offers many advantages but there are times when it is best for parents to split.

Infidelity, physical, verbal and mental abuses are only a few issues that may cause a relationship to sour but children should always be made aware the break up is not their fault.

Dads have to be aware they are still counted on to support their children (not just court ordered child support). Dads should try to spend as much time as possible with their children to ensure them they are not losing a parent. Dads should become more involved in activities such as school and potential hobbies. Do not sit back and let the mother try to handle the burden alone. I understand the need to advance with your life but your children should be a major part of your life and there will be times when you have to put your ego in check and work with the mother of your children for the benefit of your children.

Not too many people plan break ups but remember…

When you and the mother are done; do not ride off into the sunset and leave the children behind. Make sure you check and re-check your list because there may be something you may have forgotten.

KEY POINTS

• Assure children the break up is not their fault. Ask them whether they have questions - and give them age appropriate answers.
• Become more, not less involved. Volunteer to participate in extracurricular activities and sports event. Contact the school to get the schedule of important dates.
• Check your ego. Don't allow arguments with your child’s mother prevent you from making and keeping commitments with your child.