Who am I?

My greatest weakness as a man may also be my greatest strength. Men hate to be compared to other men.  Just ask one. We don’t like to be told how to act, or how to talk. Take those feelings and mix it with a case of child trauma of not knowing your father on a personal level and you get a volatile combination. You end up with an individual who is driven by insecurities. I was so afraid of not being like my father that it drove me to become the dad I am today. This is not another dead beat dad posting; there are plenty of those. My own deadbeat father's decisions helped shaped me; from afar of course. Well not really that far........(we lived across the street from each other for years).

Men believe that we are original beings - explorers in a new world, mighty conquerors of a new found civilization. The fact is none of us are new. The same struggles we face today, others have conquered or failed before us. Why am I different? I have made a decision to break the destructive cycle of being an absentee parent. Not knowing the name of my child’s teacher, not attending school meetings, not knowing my child’s favorite food or his favorite book and not taking an active role in my child’s life is simply not an option.

Being called dad is such an empowering term (yes admit it, the little one(s) who refer to you as dad give you strength).  The moment the word Dad is uttered, your entire make-up changes. It’s like baby superman flying through space and finally passing the sun…BOOM you’re a DAD.....able to care for a crying baby in a single bound,able to leap into action to protect once the alarm sounds, there to teach and nurture when others are afraid. This is a responsibility that should be welcomed and not taken lightly.

Being a loving, compassionate dad is so important.  Unfortunately, societal customs have twisted the notion of what a good father should be. A stern dad is not mean, he is a responsible parent instilling values in his child.  Dads should lead by example and deeds, not with empty lectures.  Many men are lacking in basic educational skills, yet want to chastise their children on the importance of achieving good grades in school. It is vital that we take time to show the youth exactly what we want them to accomplish. Too many young children are left to fantasize about their dads; relegated to telling stories of fictional characters that seem too good to be true. Real dads have to stand up and defend our stature in society. Unfortunately, in many communities the role of a dad has been relegated to that of a sperm donor.

My philosophy on being a supportive dad is simple; always be there! You can’t be with your children 24/7 but the lessons you teach them should be instilled in them, to the point that no matter where the child might travel to; they will always have your positive lessons in their hearts, minds, and spirits to help guide them through rough times.

Sit back and enjoy the ride because it will be bumpy at times but no one ever said it would be easy…